cocking_about: (iwouldliketolickhislip)
Written for the 2014 [livejournal.com profile] topgearslash Advent Challenge.

Prompt #3: Birthday (Richard celebrates his 45th birthday on December 19th)


Richard folded his arms on the table and dropped his head onto them. "Forty-five," he groaned. "Forty-five."

"We heard you the first time. Your point?" Jeremy asked, acidly.

"I'm officially closer to fifty than to forty!"

"Nothing wrong with that." James looked over the tops of his reading glasses. "Are you about to have another mid-life crisis? I could use a laugh."

"I'm past a mid-life crisis! I'm almost a half century old. It's all bloody well downhill from here," Richard said despairingly.

"Fucking pikey," snorted Jeremy.

"For your information, Hammond," said James, "there is life after fifty. Jeremy and I haven't changed."

Richard sat up and glared at them each in turn. "Jez is a grouchy, petulant, grey-haired, cantankerous, fat old sod, and you are a fussy, crotchety, antiquated, grey-haired, slightly-less-fat old bastard."

"Precisely!" Jeremy said, as James nodded in agreement. "We haven't changed one iota."

Richard opened his mouth, then closed it again. He cocked his head. "Actually, I can't argue with that. And if you two ridiculously old men can age without growing up, I certainly can. Fact." He began to whistle 'Happy Birthday' to himself quite cheerfully.
cocking_about: (Default)
Title: Everything The War Calls Out Of Us 2/2
Authors: [livejournal.com profile] foxtales & [livejournal.com profile] cocking_about
Artist: [livejournal.com profile] kikiriki23
Fandom: Top Gear
Genre: Gen, WWI AU
Characters: Richard, James & Jeremy
Rating: R
Word Count: ~17,000
Warnings: Language, violence and gore.
Disclaimer: Although an attempt was made to be somewhat historically accurate regarding the major events surrounding the Battle of Bourlon Wood, this is a fictionalised account and cannot be taken as truth. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is totally intentional but completely unauthorised. No money is being made from their names and likenesses.

Summary: Jeremy laid back as well, his head spinning a bit and not just from his wound. Greasy, tasteless food, toxic mud, an enemy that could stumble across them at any moment, seam squirrels and rats and flies and stench, and milk tablets, for god's sake. He wasn't a religious man, but he found himself praying they found the Allied lines, and soon.

Authors' notes: Enormous thanks to the mods of [livejournal.com profile] rpf_big_bang for all their hard work in putting this challenge together! [livejournal.com profile] foxtales and I also want to thank [livejournal.com profile] tarteaucitron so, so much for her excellent beta work and Britpick (even though Top Gear's hardly her favourite), and [livejournal.com profile] elmathelas and [livejournal.com profile] msilverstar for the additional and invaluable help in the beta department.

Link To Art: The perfect companion art.






Part One

Fritz won't sneak up on you as long as Jez Clarkson's on watch. )
cocking_about: (Default)
Title: Everything The War Calls Out Of Us 1/2
Authors: [livejournal.com profile] foxtales & [livejournal.com profile] cocking_about
Artist: [livejournal.com profile] kikiriki23
Fandom: Top Gear
Genre: Gen, WWI AU
Characters: Richard, James & Jeremy
Rating: R
Word Count: ~17,000
Warnings: Language, violence and gore.
Disclaimer: Although an attempt was made to be somewhat historically accurate regarding the major events surrounding the Battle of Bourlon Wood, this is a fictionalised account and cannot be taken as truth. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is totally intentional but completely unauthorised. No money is being made from their names and likenesses.

Summary: Jeremy laid back as well, his head spinning a bit and not just from his wound. Greasy, tasteless food, toxic mud, an enemy that could stumble across them at any moment, seam squirrels and rats and flies and stench, and milk tablets, for god's sake. He wasn't a religious man, but he found himself praying they found the Allied lines, and soon.

Authors' notes: Written for [livejournal.com profile] rpf_big_bang 2009. [livejournal.com profile] foxtales and I want to thank [livejournal.com profile] tarteaucitron so, so much for her excellent beta work and Britpick (even though Top Gear's hardly her favourite), and [livejournal.com profile] elmathelas and [livejournal.com profile] msilverstar for the additional and invaluable help in the beta department. Any errors left are solely the fault of the authors.

Link To Art: The perfect companion art.





You couldn't navigate your way out of a potato sack, could you? )
cocking_about: (Default)
Title: The Place You Are (formerly In Their Quilted Coats) chp. 5
Author: Pippin
Pairing: None yet, but yes, it will be Richard/Pip eventually.
Warning: Umm, AU, obvs. Richard's wife and family don't exist, because I refuse to break up a home. :D He did, however, have his accident in this universe. Also, I should probably warn for Jeremy Clarkson in general.

A/N: There has been a title change to better reflect the story. And yes, it's from a Peter Gabriel song as well. :D

A massive thank you to [livejournal.com profile] tigertale7 and [livejournal.com profile] _breathtaken for the betas, encouragement, and general enabling.


Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4

Is that your poker face, or are you serious? )
cocking_about: (Default)
Title: In Their Quilted Coats ch. 4
Author: Pip
Pairing: None yet, but yes, it will be Richard/Pip eventually.
Warning: Umm, AU, obvs. Richard's wife and family don't exist, because I refuse to break up a home. :D He did, however, have his accident in this universe. Also, contains a suggestion of who the Stig might be.

A massive thank you to [livejournal.com profile] tigertale7 for the beta, encouragement, and excellent enabling. This fandom wouldn't be nearly as much fun without you, hon. ♥ ♥ ♥

Chapter 1, 2, 3

First posted Dec, 2008

An absolute cock-up from start to finish. )
cocking_about: (Default)
Title: In Their Quilted Coats ch. 3
Author: Pip
Pairing: None yet, but yes, it will be Richard/Pip eventually.
Warning: Umm, AU, obvs. Richard's wife and family don't exist, because I refuse to break up a home. :D He did, however, have his accident in this universe. Also, I should probably warn for Jeremy Clarkson in general.

A massive thank you to [livejournal.com profile] tigertale7 and [livejournal.com profile] giddy_london for the betas, encouragement, and general enabling. This fandom wouldn't be half as much fun without you two. ♥ ♥ ♥

Chapter 1, 2

First posted Sept, 2008

All right, then, who's going to start the Spanish Inquisition? )
cocking_about: (Default)
Title: In Their Quilted Coats ch. 2
Author: Pip
Pairing: None yet, but yes, it will be Richard/Pip eventually.
Warning: Umm, AU, obvs. Richard's wife and family don't exist, because I refuse to break up a home. :D He did, however, have his accident in this universe. Also, I should probably warn for Jeremy Clarkson in general.

A massive thank you to [livejournal.com profile] tigertale7 and [livejournal.com profile] giddy_london for the betas, encouragement, and general enabling. This fandom wouldn't be half as much fun without you two. ♥ ♥ ♥

Chapter 1

First posted Aug, 2008

I wouldn't put it past you three to want to turn a Lamborghini into a submersible. )
cocking_about: (Default)
Title: In Their Quilted Coats ch. 1
Author: Pip
Pairing: None yet, but yes, it will be Richard/Pip eventually. And I have no idea if Pip is actually me or not. I don't think I could write me truthfully if you paid me a million dollars.
Warning: Umm, AU, obvs. Richard's wife and family don't exist, because I refuse to break up a home. He did, however, have his accident in this universe. Also, I should probably warn for Jeremy Clarkson in general.
Feedback: Would be treasured beyond pearls.

Heartfelt thanks to [livejournal.com profile] tigertale7 for the beta, and for playing in my universe with me every time I beg. Much love, bb.

First posted Aug, 2008

James, don't touch Jeremy with the cheese. )
cocking_about: (Default)
Title: Squirrel Tossing and Other Pastimes
Word Count: 3300
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Richard/James
Disclaimer: This is fiction. Ergo, all events described herein are fictitious.
Summary: Inspired by Series 11, episode 2. Set after the live taping, referencing the News Of The Week. Written for [livejournal.com profile] chocolatepeach’s Slash Edition Challenge.

Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] tigertale7 and [livejournal.com profile] elmathelas for the brilliant beta jobs!

First posted Nov, 2008

That one's absolutely going to win the Golden Cock this season. )
cocking_about: (Default)
Title: The Baby Owner's Manual: Operating Instructions, Trouble-Shooting Tips, and Advice on First-Year Maintenance 2/2
Author: Pip
Pairing: Richard/James
Rating: A bare PG-13 for language.
Warning: See warnings on the first part.
Disclaimer: Don't know 'em, never met 'em, this is all lies. (*sigh*) Title and chapter headings stolen directly from the book of the same name, written by Louis Borgenicht and Joe Borgenicht.
Summary: Richard and James adapt, but do they adopt?
Feedback: All feedback and concrit most gratefully received.

Written for my darling [livejournal.com profile] giddy_london, who asked for James and Richard as newbie!daddies. :D

Thanks again to [livejournal.com profile] tigertale7 for the beta, and [livejournal.com profile] sunsetmog for the Britpick.

Chapter 1

First posted Sept, 2008

Does May colour-code his sockets? )
cocking_about: (Default)
Title: The Baby Owner's Manual: Operating Instructions, Trouble-Shooting Tips, and Advice on First-Year Maintenance 1/2
Author: Pip
Pairing: Richard/James
Rating: A bare PG-13 for language.
Word Count: Both parts, 11,000
Warning: I'd better warn you that this is my first TG fic, and it is, sadly, porn-free. Also, baby!fic, if that's not your thing. :D
Disclaimer: Don't know 'em, never met 'em, this is all lies. (*sigh*) Title and chapter headings stolen directly from the book of the same name, written by Louis Borgenicht and Joe Borgenicht.
Summary: Richard and James adapt, but do they adopt?
Feedback: All feedback and concrit most gratefully received.

Written for my darling [livejournal.com profile] giddy_london, who asked for James and Richard as newbie!daddies. Here it is, bb, I hope this does the trick. :D

Many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] tigertale7, who has enabled cheered me on through the whole thing. This fic wouldn't be the same without her valuable beta skills, and a fantastic (and fast!) Britpick by [livejournal.com profile] sunsetmog. Thanks, ducklings.

First posted Sept, 2008

Is that what I think it is? )

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