cocking_about: (iwouldliketolickhislip)
2014-12-16 08:41 pm
Entry tags:

(no subject)

Written for the 2014 [livejournal.com profile] topgearslash Advent Challenge.

Prompt #3: Birthday (Richard celebrates his 45th birthday on December 19th)


Richard folded his arms on the table and dropped his head onto them. "Forty-five," he groaned. "Forty-five."

"We heard you the first time. Your point?" Jeremy asked, acidly.

"I'm officially closer to fifty than to forty!"

"Nothing wrong with that." James looked over the tops of his reading glasses. "Are you about to have another mid-life crisis? I could use a laugh."

"I'm past a mid-life crisis! I'm almost a half century old. It's all bloody well downhill from here," Richard said despairingly.

"Fucking pikey," snorted Jeremy.

"For your information, Hammond," said James, "there is life after fifty. Jeremy and I haven't changed."

Richard sat up and glared at them each in turn. "Jez is a grouchy, petulant, grey-haired, cantankerous, fat old sod, and you are a fussy, crotchety, antiquated, grey-haired, slightly-less-fat old bastard."

"Precisely!" Jeremy said, as James nodded in agreement. "We haven't changed one iota."

Richard opened his mouth, then closed it again. He cocked his head. "Actually, I can't argue with that. And if you two ridiculously old men can age without growing up, I certainly can. Fact." He began to whistle 'Happy Birthday' to himself quite cheerfully.
cocking_about: (iwouldliketolickhislip)
2014-04-30 03:53 pm
Entry tags:

Future Not Yet

Oh, good grief, I haven't done this in so long that I don't remember how. Um.

Author: me!
Characters: Billy/Grace, Elijah
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Billy & Elijah are based on real people to whom I have no connection whatsoever, but Grace is an original character and belongs to meeeeee.
Feedback: Would be treasured beyond pearls.
Archive: Not without permission.

Written for Pip's First Annual Great Eleventh Of March Fic Challenge Classic. It is a future scene in the vast universe that is Not Yet, and as such could be considered a spoiler, although I think everyone knows me well enough to not be surprised by a single thing in here. :P I think this could be read as a standalone if you're not familiar with the Not Yet verse, though. All you need to know is that Billy and Grace were friends first, and she was friends with Elijah who she met through Billy. This is, at present, un-betaed.

My choice for length in the challenge was "Go Big Or Go Home" (over 5,000 words), and the prompts I used were Home Cooking, Possessive Behaviour, and I suppose you could include Marriage, really. There is a wee bit in the middle that is a place marker for another scene that remains to be written, but would not cooperate at this juncture. Sorry about that.

Okay, I think that's everything! I will stop procrastinating now. On to the fic! )
cocking_about: (Default)
2009-10-23 10:15 am
Entry tags:

(no subject)

Title: Everything The War Calls Out Of Us 2/2
Authors: [livejournal.com profile] foxtales & [livejournal.com profile] cocking_about
Artist: [livejournal.com profile] kikiriki23
Fandom: Top Gear
Genre: Gen, WWI AU
Characters: Richard, James & Jeremy
Rating: R
Word Count: ~17,000
Warnings: Language, violence and gore.
Disclaimer: Although an attempt was made to be somewhat historically accurate regarding the major events surrounding the Battle of Bourlon Wood, this is a fictionalised account and cannot be taken as truth. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is totally intentional but completely unauthorised. No money is being made from their names and likenesses.

Summary: Jeremy laid back as well, his head spinning a bit and not just from his wound. Greasy, tasteless food, toxic mud, an enemy that could stumble across them at any moment, seam squirrels and rats and flies and stench, and milk tablets, for god's sake. He wasn't a religious man, but he found himself praying they found the Allied lines, and soon.

Authors' notes: Enormous thanks to the mods of [livejournal.com profile] rpf_big_bang for all their hard work in putting this challenge together! [livejournal.com profile] foxtales and I also want to thank [livejournal.com profile] tarteaucitron so, so much for her excellent beta work and Britpick (even though Top Gear's hardly her favourite), and [livejournal.com profile] elmathelas and [livejournal.com profile] msilverstar for the additional and invaluable help in the beta department.

Link To Art: The perfect companion art.






Part One

Fritz won't sneak up on you as long as Jez Clarkson's on watch. )
cocking_about: (Default)
2009-10-23 10:04 am
Entry tags:

(no subject)

Title: Everything The War Calls Out Of Us 1/2
Authors: [livejournal.com profile] foxtales & [livejournal.com profile] cocking_about
Artist: [livejournal.com profile] kikiriki23
Fandom: Top Gear
Genre: Gen, WWI AU
Characters: Richard, James & Jeremy
Rating: R
Word Count: ~17,000
Warnings: Language, violence and gore.
Disclaimer: Although an attempt was made to be somewhat historically accurate regarding the major events surrounding the Battle of Bourlon Wood, this is a fictionalised account and cannot be taken as truth. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is totally intentional but completely unauthorised. No money is being made from their names and likenesses.

Summary: Jeremy laid back as well, his head spinning a bit and not just from his wound. Greasy, tasteless food, toxic mud, an enemy that could stumble across them at any moment, seam squirrels and rats and flies and stench, and milk tablets, for god's sake. He wasn't a religious man, but he found himself praying they found the Allied lines, and soon.

Authors' notes: Written for [livejournal.com profile] rpf_big_bang 2009. [livejournal.com profile] foxtales and I want to thank [livejournal.com profile] tarteaucitron so, so much for her excellent beta work and Britpick (even though Top Gear's hardly her favourite), and [livejournal.com profile] elmathelas and [livejournal.com profile] msilverstar for the additional and invaluable help in the beta department. Any errors left are solely the fault of the authors.

Link To Art: The perfect companion art.





You couldn't navigate your way out of a potato sack, could you? )
cocking_about: (Default)
2009-06-07 08:07 pm
Entry tags:

(no subject)

Title: The Place You Are (formerly In Their Quilted Coats) chp. 5
Author: Pippin
Pairing: None yet, but yes, it will be Richard/Pip eventually.
Warning: Umm, AU, obvs. Richard's wife and family don't exist, because I refuse to break up a home. :D He did, however, have his accident in this universe. Also, I should probably warn for Jeremy Clarkson in general.

A/N: There has been a title change to better reflect the story. And yes, it's from a Peter Gabriel song as well. :D

A massive thank you to [livejournal.com profile] tigertale7 and [livejournal.com profile] _breathtaken for the betas, encouragement, and general enabling.


Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4

Is that your poker face, or are you serious? )
cocking_about: (Default)
2009-01-08 10:05 pm
Entry tags:

(no subject)

Title: In Their Quilted Coats ch. 4
Author: Pip
Pairing: None yet, but yes, it will be Richard/Pip eventually.
Warning: Umm, AU, obvs. Richard's wife and family don't exist, because I refuse to break up a home. :D He did, however, have his accident in this universe. Also, contains a suggestion of who the Stig might be.

A massive thank you to [livejournal.com profile] tigertale7 for the beta, encouragement, and excellent enabling. This fandom wouldn't be nearly as much fun without you, hon. ♥ ♥ ♥

Chapter 1, 2, 3

First posted Dec, 2008

An absolute cock-up from start to finish. )
cocking_about: (Default)
2009-01-08 09:59 pm
Entry tags:

(no subject)

Title: In Their Quilted Coats ch. 3
Author: Pip
Pairing: None yet, but yes, it will be Richard/Pip eventually.
Warning: Umm, AU, obvs. Richard's wife and family don't exist, because I refuse to break up a home. :D He did, however, have his accident in this universe. Also, I should probably warn for Jeremy Clarkson in general.

A massive thank you to [livejournal.com profile] tigertale7 and [livejournal.com profile] giddy_london for the betas, encouragement, and general enabling. This fandom wouldn't be half as much fun without you two. ♥ ♥ ♥

Chapter 1, 2

First posted Sept, 2008

All right, then, who's going to start the Spanish Inquisition? )
cocking_about: (Default)
2009-01-08 09:52 pm
Entry tags:

(no subject)

Title: In Their Quilted Coats ch. 2
Author: Pip
Pairing: None yet, but yes, it will be Richard/Pip eventually.
Warning: Umm, AU, obvs. Richard's wife and family don't exist, because I refuse to break up a home. :D He did, however, have his accident in this universe. Also, I should probably warn for Jeremy Clarkson in general.

A massive thank you to [livejournal.com profile] tigertale7 and [livejournal.com profile] giddy_london for the betas, encouragement, and general enabling. This fandom wouldn't be half as much fun without you two. ♥ ♥ ♥

Chapter 1

First posted Aug, 2008

I wouldn't put it past you three to want to turn a Lamborghini into a submersible. )
cocking_about: (Default)
2009-01-08 09:47 pm
Entry tags:

(no subject)

Title: In Their Quilted Coats ch. 1
Author: Pip
Pairing: None yet, but yes, it will be Richard/Pip eventually. And I have no idea if Pip is actually me or not. I don't think I could write me truthfully if you paid me a million dollars.
Warning: Umm, AU, obvs. Richard's wife and family don't exist, because I refuse to break up a home. He did, however, have his accident in this universe. Also, I should probably warn for Jeremy Clarkson in general.
Feedback: Would be treasured beyond pearls.

Heartfelt thanks to [livejournal.com profile] tigertale7 for the beta, and for playing in my universe with me every time I beg. Much love, bb.

First posted Aug, 2008

James, don't touch Jeremy with the cheese. )
cocking_about: (Default)
2009-01-08 09:44 pm

(no subject)

Title: Squirrel Tossing and Other Pastimes
Word Count: 3300
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Richard/James
Disclaimer: This is fiction. Ergo, all events described herein are fictitious.
Summary: Inspired by Series 11, episode 2. Set after the live taping, referencing the News Of The Week. Written for [livejournal.com profile] chocolatepeach’s Slash Edition Challenge.

Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] tigertale7 and [livejournal.com profile] elmathelas for the brilliant beta jobs!

First posted Nov, 2008

That one's absolutely going to win the Golden Cock this season. )
cocking_about: (Default)
2009-01-08 09:34 pm

(no subject)

Title: The Baby Owner's Manual: Operating Instructions, Trouble-Shooting Tips, and Advice on First-Year Maintenance 2/2
Author: Pip
Pairing: Richard/James
Rating: A bare PG-13 for language.
Warning: See warnings on the first part.
Disclaimer: Don't know 'em, never met 'em, this is all lies. (*sigh*) Title and chapter headings stolen directly from the book of the same name, written by Louis Borgenicht and Joe Borgenicht.
Summary: Richard and James adapt, but do they adopt?
Feedback: All feedback and concrit most gratefully received.

Written for my darling [livejournal.com profile] giddy_london, who asked for James and Richard as newbie!daddies. :D

Thanks again to [livejournal.com profile] tigertale7 for the beta, and [livejournal.com profile] sunsetmog for the Britpick.

Chapter 1

First posted Sept, 2008

Does May colour-code his sockets? )
cocking_about: (Default)
2009-01-08 09:31 pm

(no subject)

Title: The Baby Owner's Manual: Operating Instructions, Trouble-Shooting Tips, and Advice on First-Year Maintenance 1/2
Author: Pip
Pairing: Richard/James
Rating: A bare PG-13 for language.
Word Count: Both parts, 11,000
Warning: I'd better warn you that this is my first TG fic, and it is, sadly, porn-free. Also, baby!fic, if that's not your thing. :D
Disclaimer: Don't know 'em, never met 'em, this is all lies. (*sigh*) Title and chapter headings stolen directly from the book of the same name, written by Louis Borgenicht and Joe Borgenicht.
Summary: Richard and James adapt, but do they adopt?
Feedback: All feedback and concrit most gratefully received.

Written for my darling [livejournal.com profile] giddy_london, who asked for James and Richard as newbie!daddies. Here it is, bb, I hope this does the trick. :D

Many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] tigertale7, who has enabled cheered me on through the whole thing. This fic wouldn't be the same without her valuable beta skills, and a fantastic (and fast!) Britpick by [livejournal.com profile] sunsetmog. Thanks, ducklings.

First posted Sept, 2008

Is that what I think it is? )
cocking_about: (Default)
2009-01-08 08:18 pm

(no subject)

A Series of Unrelated Drabbles
Author: Pip
Pairings: Billy/Dom, Billy/Dom/Elijah, Merry/Pippin
Rating: Up to PG-13

First posted May, 2004
The Cracks Begin To Show )

First posted July, 2004
Break. )

First posted Aug, 2004
Lightbulb. )

First posted Jan, 2005
Ever Wonder? )

First posted Feb, 2005
Pain. )

First posted Feb, 2005
Fear. )

First posted Aug, 2005
Looney Tunes. )

First posted Apr, 2006
Love Letters. )

First posted May, 2006
Two nameless drabbles. )
cocking_about: (Default)
2009-01-08 08:11 pm
Entry tags:

(no subject)

Title: Irish Pancakes
Author: Pip
Rating: PG

For the first time in eons, here's a little ficlet I wrote for [livejournal.com profile] algernon_mouse, who requested Billy/Dom fluff.

First posted Sept, 2007

What is this writing thing to which you refer? )
cocking_about: (Default)
2009-01-08 07:44 pm
Entry tags:

(no subject)

Title: Falling
Author: Pip
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1,035

First posted July, 2006

Christ, Dom, I'm naked here. )
cocking_about: (Default)
2009-01-08 05:49 pm
Entry tags:

(no subject)

Storylines and a Ficlet
Author: Pip
Pairing: Billy/Dom
Rating: PG-13?

I posted the meme You give me the title to a story I didn't write (or that no one wrote, it doesn't have to be a real title to anything), and I'll give you a synopsis of what the story would be, were it written by me.

Then I wrote the storylines, and in one case, a ficlet called A Few of My Favourite Places.

First posted Feb, 2006

The Night You Can't Remember and Other Stories Wot I Never Wrote. )
cocking_about: (Default)
2009-01-08 05:37 pm

(no subject)

Pron Drop
Author: Pip
Pairing: Billy/Dom
Rating: PG-13

A tiny pron drop left in [livejournal.com profile] apple_pi's lj, here.

First posted Dec, 2005

This was supposed to be hawt NC-17 porn. It took an unexpected left turn at Albuquerque. )
cocking_about: (Default)
2009-01-08 05:24 pm

(no subject)

A Series of Unrelated Ficlets
Author: Pip
Pairing: Billy/Dom
Rating: Varied PG-13 through NC-17
Warning: Some contain naughty words, some contain boysecks, some contain schmoop, one contains dom!Billy and sub!Dom.
Disclaimer: Don't know 'em, never met 'em, this is all lies. (*sigh*)
Feedback: Would be treasured beyond pearls.

A/N: I was bored Friday night and requested people's favourite words, and I wrote bitty little fics. Here is a collection of all ten written so far, lj-cut by the word requested and underneath the cut is who it was written for. The fics are all completely unrelated. This was hard, but fun.

First posted Nov, 2004

Luminescent )


Vex )


Percolate )


Ennui )


Quixotic )


Fury )


Erstwhile )


Debauchery )


Ecstatic )


Obsequious - Warning: NC-17 )
cocking_about: (Default)
2009-01-08 05:10 pm

(no subject)

Title: You're A Map Of A Place Maybe Someday I'll Go Ch. 22/22
Author: Pip
Pairing: Billy/Dom
Rating: this chapter PG-13
Disclaimer: Don't know 'em, never met 'em, this is all lies.
Feedback: Would be treasured beyond pearls.
Archive: Not without permission.

A/N: Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] fitofpique and [livejournal.com profile] elmathelas for the brilliant betas, and to [livejournal.com profile] buckle_berry for the fabulous Britpick. This fic would not be the same without you three, and I thank you from the bottom of my squishy little heart.

Thank you to everyone who has been reading along, whether you've commented or not. This fic is special to me, and I'm pleased beyond words that you've all been enjoying it. Thank you for all your lovely words, your encouragement, and your support, I really appreciate it. :)

Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21

First posted Aug, 2006

This wasn't supposed to be so difficult. )
cocking_about: (Default)
2009-01-08 04:54 pm

(no subject)

Title: You're A Map Of A Place Maybe Someday I'll Go Ch. 21/22
Author: Pip
Pairing: Billy/Dom
Rating: this chapter NC-17
Disclaimer: Don't know 'em, never met 'em, this is all lies.
Feedback: Would be treasured beyond pearls.
Archive: Not without permission.

A/N: Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] fitofpique and [livejournal.com profile] elmathelas for the brilliant betas, and to [livejournal.com profile] buckle_berry for the fabulous Britpick. This fic would not be the same without you three, and I thank you from the bottom of my squishy little heart.

Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20

First posted Aug, 2006

I had great intentions of accomplishing at least one good orgasm today. )